“If you want your young dog to become a champion… you must believe in him. You must treat him like a champion. YOU MUST MAKE HIM BELIEVE HE IS A CHAMPION.
You cannot fret over how wide his turns are, how slow his times are, how so and so beat him, etc. You cannot be disappointed in him. You must instill confidence. You must build trust. You must come off the course making him feel like a champion no matter what happened. Your response at the end of the run should be so positive that your dog wants to make it happen again. You must convince him he is a champion even when not doing agility (tell him, and believe, what a great dog he is). You must believe in your dog so he can believe in himself.”
What was I thinking??? I know my little Kaiden loves agility! I know my little Kaiden loves to please!
Kaiden running confidently!
I also know, that as confident as he is on the course typically running – my little Kaiden is “soft” so to speak (which means if he thinks he has done something wrong – which includes disappointing you he “shuts down”… he goes very very slow!).
So the day before – we were trialing and lost two runs (not qualifying) because he did not hit the yellow down contact on the A-Frame. He knows he is to come all the way down… and didn’t. On the way home – I was very overbearing… very loud (in both words and tone). Little Kaiden just sat in his crate and listened. Quite frankly – he may or may not have known why I was upset; on why I had him in the crate (where normally he rides with me).
It took me about 20 miles before I started to reflect and feel badly over my behaviors. He’s my little boy… the one who has stayed with me through thick and thin… the one who comes and cuddles when I am sad… the one who sings back when I sing to him. He’s my little boy… I spoke to him softly and petted him gently. I apologized.
They say dogs know when you apologize to them… when you are sorry for something. I believe they do as he responded with soft talking to me.
So we got home… went to the field and played ball. He looked for deer and enjoyed his life as a dog. I brought out the little A-frame and we practiced some five or six times… celebrating big time each time (because of course he hit the contact each time!). Two hours later – we did the same – out to the field for some play and then to the A-frame for four or five times. Finally an hour and a half later – we did it again. Each time… he did it right. Each time I was thinking – why did I act the way I did when all I needed to do was to come home and just show him what I needed him to do with the ultimate comment in my head, “For God’s sake – it’s JUST a Q!”
Kaiden’s errors were really on me though… Kaiden’s actions are the result of training. Kaiden’s actions are a result of what I have allowed.
You know… I know that he doesn’t really know or care if he qualifies or not. He just wants to run with me. He wants to be on the course… jumping and weaving! He wants to see me excited at the end of the run so he can celebrate our teamwork. Honestly though… he has “saved” me on the course more times than I can remember… late calls, late crosses, no commands at all. He corrects me with barking (on or off the course) for 2 seconds and then moves on. When finished – he looks at me with love.
Well – I thought I had made repairs to our relationship by the end of the night. I found though that what I did ultimately was to damage his confidence. I made him worry about what he was doing. The first run of the day, it became clear what I had done. It made me so very very sad and reminded me of the power of words and tone.
Kaiden LOVES his weaves… I mean just loves them!! He’s very good at them too! The run below shows what I had done to his confidence. I was able to do a lead out followed by a backside to the weaves. He entered the weaves very well and very quickly. I knew he had them and looked down stream at the next two obstacles I was concerned about… never making eye contact with him or talking to him in the weaves (“Come on weaver – weave!!”) after he entered. He looks at me at pole six as if to say – “Am I doing this right?” I didn’t see it as I wasn’t paying attention to the next two obstacles (until after I saw the video) and he slowed way down and eventually came out at pole 11. We regrouped and did spectacularly on the rest of the course.
I nearly broke Kaiden…
We ended up q-ing only once that day. I didn’t care though as I was running with my little buddy. I am sorry little Kaiden. I love you so and will try never to do that again to you. I MUST keep the proper perspective. I MUST remember all the things WE do right and write down the things we need to work on – the things WE need to improve on. You are my partner… my team mate. You are my heart… you are my soul. I love you so Courageous Kaiden! Please forgive me!
As you may know, I am retired now for the past year in a half. With the passing of Baby Jake – it is just Courageous Kaiden and I. I will eventually get another puppy… although with the missing of Kaiden’s sister’s split heat cycle – I am not sure when. I believe in time it will happen.
Kaiden is now almost five years – five months old. He’s a great pup… calm off the course – driven when on it. He’s shy around people – unless of course – you put your hand in your pocket indicating a treat/cookie for him. He’s all over you then!
Kaiden with his most favorite toy – his ball!
Kaiden is a “soft” dog. He is a worrier if he thinks he has made a mistake. If he thinks something is wrong – he slows tremendously – even in the weaves (his most favorite obstacle). He so wants to be “right!”
When he is on the course – he is full on! I like that about him. He reads me well – even when I am late with commands. He loves to work distance. I think he would love it if I would just show him the map and let him go with it!! But ya know… it’s the running TOGETHER as a team which is the most exciting for me (and I hope Kaiden!). It’s a feeling like nothing else… to know you are in sync with another in thought… and in movement. It is what keeps one coming back.
Kaiden and I (mostly me as Kaiden doesn’t really care) have a goal of getting to the AKC Invitational for December 2023. To qualify, you must be in the top five of your breed in all of AKC from July through June. Some breeds don’t need a lot of “points” to qualify… others like the Shelties, Borders, and Aussies – you need a ton!! Last year’s top Aussie had over 3500 points. Last year, Kaiden and I were 15th with nearly 1700 points (We did both AKC and CPE last year. This year we are devoting our time to AKC EXCEPT for CPE Nationals in May.).
This is the goal for this July through June. I really like running with him. I like looking “good” with him. He’s a handsome one running. His weakness is that he does not like to “collect.” He loves to jump big… and thus we lose some time. I have learned though to use that when planning crosses. You see, I really never focused him on collecting… Lukas did it naturally – could turn on a dime! Kaiden runs fast and BIG!!
This is an example of our jumpers run.
October 7, 2022 JWW Run
Like I said… I truly enjoy running with my little boy! We train at class on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. We run every Friday, Saturday and Sunday at a trial. We typically just hang out on Wednesdays. It’s a great life with my little one – my Courageous Kaiden!
On May 25, 2022, at 12:30pm – Baby Jake passed. I miss my little boy… I miss how he would lay on his pillow in the corner of my bedroom – watching to make sure all was well; I miss how he kept Kaiden “in line” and played/chased him; I miss how he would run outside to the back… look across the yard to the neighbor’s yard and look for “Oscar” – then once seeing him they would run back and forth along the fence line barking at each other; I miss taking him to the hill; I miss him.
He had three grand mal seizures… one at 4:30a, one at 7:00a and the final one started at 10:00a. It wouldn’t stop… in spite of emergency meds given twice by me and once at MedVet. They finally got it to stop by sedating him. His temperature had risen to 108 degrees. We decided to let Baby Jake go as the seizure had lasted over an hour… the damage – they said – could be tremendous to both his brain and his organs. If it was a brain tumor – and I think it was by how he was acting the last week – it had encroached on serious parts of his brain. I don’t know if he suffered when he was seizing… but I couldn’t take the chance.
Kaiden and I were there. I held him… told him how much I loved him and thanked him for being with me for 16 years.
It took some time to put our memories together in a video to ease the passing but I just couldn’t do it and I couldn’t figure out why… In reflecting – I discovered that his passing marked “the end of an era” for me. I was so very blessed with four sweet pups at one time – Shadow (born 2001), Misty (born 2004), Baby Jake (born 2006) and Sir Lukas (born 2008)- and they have all passed. Baby Jake was the last of my babies. Baby Jake came to EVERY trial with me from 2017 on. He wasn’t a lover of agility… – and retired twice (2010 and 2018) but couldn’t stand to be home alone (he would howl so mourning and escape the fence)… so he came. He was the protector of the house… and was a kind, gentle leader after Shadow passed. I miss you Baby Jake as does Kaiden… It’s been 43 years since the last time I have had only one pup! I so look forward to the time when I see you again!
This is Baby Jake’s “tribute” video… I loved that pup!!
My Dear Sweet Baby Jake – who is going to be 16 years old in May – had another seizure Saturday, February 26, 2022. It was the third Grand Mal seizure (perhaps four) since his surgery on his right torn CCL. I was asleep and heard him thrashing. I jumped out of bed and ran over to him. I am not sure how long it had been going on… but I held him in my arms… with it eventually slowed some 3 minutes later. He quieted… with Kaiden laying near both of us.
As we laid together – memories flooded back. I remembered Baby Jake as a small little puppy; Jake playing with Lukas; and Jake running agility (and hating every moment). I remembered Jake laying down watching me from afar – as my protector. I remembered telling him that his job was to “guard” the house… protecting both the house and me. I remembered how lonely he was after both Misty and Shadow passed and he was left at home while Lukas ran agility (howling and jumping the fence trying to find us). He is such a good dog… he is my Baby Jake.
So as the recovery began, Jakey tried to get up. His vision was impacted as he had no menace response. When he tried to walk – he would walk into walls. He so wanted to walk… was pacing continually. I walked with him – hoping that his vision would return; hoping that he would become less anxious, hoping he would return to his old self. I wiped off the “foam” from his mouth area and from the carpet and prepared for the post seizure period.
He paced… and paced… and paced.
I took him outside on a leash so he could walk some more. I followed him in a circular fashion in the master bedroom… the carpeted area – then the bathroom area – back to the carpeted area. I can’t tell you how many “laps” we did… but I know it seemed to comfort him.
His vision returned about 45 minutes later. I shut the bedroom door and allowed him to pace as he had no desire to lay down and got very agitated when I had him lay with me. He eventually did lay down at 11:30p – 2.25 hours after the seizure. Started to walk again after some 15 minutes… and then laid down again.
Thank the Lord… he returned and slept the night. I didn’t sleep well – waking every 15 minutes. Kaiden didn’t sleep well either… with him watching Jake as he slept throughout the night.
We love you Baby Jake.
Baby Jake with Lukas and Kaiden getting ready for the Christmas Card photo.
Things come to you at the most appropriate times! The video “The Journey” by Susan Garrett came to my attention again – and it is so appropriate. I want to share it with you…
“Someone once suggested to me that the life we share with a dog is not about dogs or dog sports at all. That the interactions between us is simply a vessel to teach us the lessons we are intended to learn as we travel through life. The lessons are always there, but not always noticed. We may be so wrapped up in “training” the dog that we fail to grasp what the dog is trying to share with us. However, if we don’t take the time to see the lesson, you can be certain it will come around to us again.
This got me thinking about the dogs that are sent to join each of us as we travel along our individual journeys… and why we get the dog that we do at the specific points in our lives.
Sir LukasBaby JakeShadow and MistyMighty MicahRockyCourageous KaidenMy babies… before Micah
Our lessons will include those of friendship, love and loyalty. There are those of gratitude, as we learn to look for the bright side in any situation. And just as failure will not define our future, neither will we rely on successes to create our sense of self worth.
Some dogs will join our journey and completely change its directions. There may be one dog that joins us to teach a multitude of lessons… while another has only a brief stay, sharing lessons that include those of profound loss and recovery. Our lessons may be about people: those passing through quickly, focused on their own journey… as well as others who are meant to stay and share their lessons with us. A dog may be leading you to one particular person… someone who is meant to continue on the journey with you.
We learn that the lessons of experience are often hidden… and that the limits of our own perception do not define life’s infinite possibilities. There will be lessons that teach us how to recover from unforeseen struggles… and how faith and an wavering belief can overcome every obstacle.
We will learn to become more accepting and less reactive. And to not allow disappointment to negatively impact our outlook. Some dogs are sent to teach us lessons that we are meant to share with others. We are learning to be less judgemental of those that cross our paths each day and also how to make the best of any situation in which we may find ourselves. And for many of us, the lessons may also include discovering the endless source of joy that exists within us should we dare to strip away the inhibitions that keep this joy hidden inside.
For no start line is broken and no bar is dropped without a lesson for us… be it in patience, in humility, in acceptance, or even in the realization of the need for more knowledge. For in the end when our dogs come to the last day of their journey with us, we won’t look back and wish we had won more red ribbons but we may regret that we didn’t learn our lessons earlier so that we might have enjoyed our journey together more fully.
However, don’t judge your path, for all of these lessons are intended for you and for you to pass along. So as you lead out for your last few runs at your competition, smile at the realization of how many lessons have brought you to this moment and find peace in knowing that the outcome of the run is part of your journey because it is not about dog agility… it is about the lessons of the journey. And this is by no means the end of the journey…”
I truly love training and competing in agility with my dogs. I am presently on this journey with my 4.5 year Aussie – Courageous Kaiden. He is very different than Sir Lukas was in that Lukie and I were a team/one in the same… I knew what he was going to do; he knew what I was going to do. I guess 11.5 years of running together does that…
Kaiden is helping me expand my thinking and my skills. You see – when Kaiden when is playing at home… swimming in the pond, chasing the ball, walking with me gives 110%… and yet he is a pretty mellow dog being able to turn it off when we are finished. I think he is beautiful inside and out… he loves life.
Kaiden sitting with his ball by the pond (Summer, 2021)
In running agility – a sport he loves – he also gives 110%. He acts like he is an extremely confident dog but in reality he’s pretty “soft.” I have to be careful even in the way I look at him as he is very perceptive and knows when I am disappointed.
The last couple of trials I have been extremely upset with myself for one reason or the other. The first time it was because I called him off of the entry to the tunnel that I sent him to – and he came perfectly! In reality, he was correct and for whatever reason, I saw something that wasn’t there. I was so upset because – I didn’t trust him. He knew what to do and I didn’t trust him. That episode actually brought me to tears because I know he is a good dog – and what was I thinking???
Another time, I got in his way and instead of taking me out – he dropped the bar. I was thankful for that – but again – I thought I was doing him wrong. I even thought for a moment… “If only he had another handler… a better handler.”
Oh my – I needed to “get a grip!” I know that that kind of thinking does not do one well. I know that that kind of thinking only hurts one’s chances of being successful. I know that that kind of thinking only hurts one’s chances of reaching one’s dreams. So – STOP IT!!
I knew I had to figure this out if I was going to be “successful” in a sport that I truly love. I had had multiple episodes of negative self talk… why?? I know that is not good – yet I participated in it. Why were my mistakes taking such a toll on me mentally??
So why was I doing this? After some reflection, it was as if I was putting who I am now since I have retired – on display. It was as if my self worth since I have retired was on display for all to see. Crazy… but true. I was putting who I was and relating it to how I was competing and more and worse – I was successful – a successful person – by my success on the course as determined by whether I qualified in the run or not. I was putting an extraordinary amount of pressure on myself… and was folding by it. Oh my… what was I doing to myself and my pup!
This is what I knew – I must reflect and figure this out. I had always done that in my “job” at school – why not here?!?!
Baby Jake is now 15.5 years old (October, 2021). He has all the qualities of a “protector.” He watch from afar… always keeping his eyes on me and my location. When I leave the house… his job is to protect the home. He does this with pride. He allows me to stroke him… to pet him – but not too much! He sleeps more now… but so do I!! HaHa
He most recently had to have corrective surgery on his right leg when he tore his CCL. It was such a tough decision to put him under anesthesia at this age… but I was so concerned about his quality of life. You see, Baby Jake loves to run the fence barking at his next door neighbor’s dog. In addition, he loves to go to the field looking for deer. These are the two things that appear to bring joy to his heart… We went with the suture surgery since his activity level is lower and it was a shorter surgery. Hope it was the right decision… especially since he has had three seizures since the surgery. Two I was there… grand mal seizures. The third – he came to me after the seizure. I could tell as he was very agitated, drank a ton of water, and wanted to be around me. Dear boy… I hope I did the right thing… I so love my little boy!!
Baby Jake had some “friends” over to swim in the pond. Jake doesn’t go in… but loves celebrating with his buddies! See how happy he is at 15.5 years old… makes my heart warm! Love you Baby Jake!
Baby Jake has had one round (ten sessions) of PT at MedVet after surgery. I am taking him back for another round as his right leg appear to be weaker. I need to be diligent in his exercises…
The above video is when some friends came over with their pups to swim in the pond. Baby Jake just loves their “Jake.” and will follow him as he runs… and will bark at him as he goes in the water. I see the happiness in his eyes, in his body movement, in his being and it makes me so happy to see. It’s such a different type of happiness… it is like seeing pure joy. It is a warm type of joy that actually bring tears to my eyes.
Lukas passed two months ago on November 14, 2020 at 7:30a. I’ll write about what happened later… as it is still very difficult thinking about it.
What I did want to do is write down a verse from a song I heard around the Christmas Season. It speaks to my heart… then and now. It is from the song called “Memories” and the particular verse is:
“There’s a time that I remember, when I did not know no pain. When I believed in forever, and everything would stay the same. Now my heart feels like December when somebody says your name. ‘Cause I can’t reach out to call you, but I know I will one day – yeah.“
…”Now my heart feels like December… when somebody says your name…” my dear dear Lukie… how I miss you! I’d like to share the letter I wrote to him that I posted on my Facebook page several days after he passed. Still ever so “real:”
“Sir Lukas of Center Village from his minion Tina.” Dear Lukie – I love you little boy and I so miss you even though you just left me three days ago. You know what I miss the most? It’s the simple things you gave me Lukie… to hear you bark just one more time as we stand at the start line and I say to you “Are you ready Little Boy? Speak to me Lukie” – and you would bark – each time – to signal it was time to run; I will miss you escaping from your crate – looking for food – and people calling for me to come and get you; I’ll miss you running on the hill with Baby Jake and Kaiden – know that they miss you too; I’ll miss watching you weave… and how you reacted when I said “Weave weaver weave!” I’ll miss you sleeping on my bed and when I start to move… snuggling up and pawing me; I’ll miss you laying in the closet watching and waiting for me to come out of the shower; I will even miss racing you in the yard for the “poop” Baby Jake just left… you so loved his droppings! I’ll miss that look you would give me after we finished our run… so very sweet! I’ll miss singing to you – “You are my Sunshine” – for you truly are my Sunshine. I’ll miss you keeping Kaiden in his place; I’ll miss you lining up with the other two boys to get your after meal treat. It’s the simple things I will miss Lukie. Know that my heart will be forever burden in the fact that I didn’t react fast enough to take care of you… for that Little Lukie I am so so sorry. I love you Little Boy… you were truly my Sunshine. I will never forget you and you will FOREVER be deep in my soul!”
After putting this in… I need to stop as I am in tears. Will I ever not miss you? Love you Little Lukie! Truly – forever in my soul!
November 10, 2019: What a very special weekend at Flashpoint!! Sir Lukas got his C-ATCH 50 on Saturday! It was an exciting run as “the weaver” came out of the weaves – which was the third obstacle – but corrected them. He came out because I was running so cautiously… I decided to run hard and fast… if it happens – it happens! He ran perfectly for the rest of the run!!
At the end of the run… I announced that he would not be retiring yet (as many folks were asking me) and then asked folks to sing with me “You are my Sunshine” to him at the end of his run (This is what I sing to him as we are waiting in line to run)!! It was so very sweet! It was so hard to believe… as we started on this goal after he got his C-ATCH 22 (March 27, 2016).
Then on Sunday – he got his 50,000 Lifetime Points Award! In addition, he was High in Trial for Veterans!! Courageous Kaiden – also did well and got his C-ATCH 4! Sir Lukas was 9 for 10 and Kaiden 7 for 10!
Reflection on C-ATCH 50: It is so hard to believe… we presently have more C-ATCH’s than anyone in the United States. It’s bigger than that though… my little boy has battled through many, many health issues. He never quits… his only desire is to be out there running with me as my teammate. He knows me so very well… and I know him. He covers for me when I make an error… he gives his all. When we are finish running… our eyes connect – and it is pure joy! It is pure love…
I am not sure how I ended up so very lucky… but I am. I so love my little boy! He will always be close to my heart. It was through him that I have met so many good people. It is through him that I now have a life after work. It was through him that Courageous Kaiden has come to me… and continues to grow into the pup he is – because Lukas came first. Sir Lukas… my Lukas – know that you will always be “my sunshine” – my little boy! I love you Lukie!!
Sir Lukas: C-ATCH 50 & Courageous Kaiden: C-ATCH 4Sir Lukas’ Life Photos
for that – but again – I thought I was doing him wrong. I even thought for a moment… “If only he had another handler… a better handler.”
The Road Traveled with my Companions 
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