I read this about a year ago on the wall of a training facility. I took a picture of it and then placed Kaiden’s picture in it to remind me that he is a champion! I must believe in him so that he can believe in himself!
My Kaiden is a Champion!
Category: Lessons Learned
“Follow the line that connects your heart with mine”
Running agility with your pup – with Kaiden – can have some very big highs… and some very big lows. Running agility with your pup… a person will learn many, many lessons – if you are open to those lessons. I’ll tell you though when it all comes together for that moment – when you’ve had a great run… when you are actually connected through a run – the feeling coming off the course is one of pure joy. I love that feeling… very few things like it!
As Kaiden and I head to our trial site – each and every weekend – I have a “playlist” of songs that helps me set my mind “right.” They play – and I sing to Kaiden. I don’t think Kaiden even needs the music – it’s really for me – and he just humors me.
One of the songs that is on the playlist is a song that I heard on one of the walk throughs at a trial. It truly brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. It is called “My All American Boy” by Janet McLaughlin. It is a song about her running agility with her dog Carson (in the song… I changed Carson’s name and put Kaiden’s name in its place!).
The last verse goes:
"Kaiden" run
Right here beside me...
Now go out to where you need to be...
To finish - follow the line that connects your heart with mine.
I love agility with you "My All American Boy"
My All American Boy - I thank God for you!"
The line “To finish – follow the line that connects your heart with mine” is what touches me. You see – I believe so much in that connection – that bond – that love – between you and your dog. It is so very simple, so very deep and so very pure. I am grateful for the opportunity to run with “my little buddy” and to truly feel “the line that connects his heart with mine.”
Thank you Kaiden! Love ya little boy!
Believe in Courageous Kaiden
“If you want your young dog to become a champion… you must believe in him. You must treat him like a champion. YOU MUST MAKE HIM BELIEVE HE IS A CHAMPION.
You cannot fret over how wide his turns are, how slow his times are, how so and so beat him, etc. You cannot be disappointed in him. You must instill confidence. You must build trust. You must come off the course making him feel like a champion no matter what happened. Your response at the end of the run should be so positive that your dog wants to make it happen again. You must convince him he is a champion even when not doing agility (tell him, and believe, what a great dog he is). You must believe in your dog so he can believe in himself.”
Linda Mecklenburg
Words and Tone Can Destroy or Build
I am ashamed of myself.
What was I thinking??? I know my little Kaiden loves agility! I know my little Kaiden loves to please!
I also know, that as confident as he is on the course typically running – my little Kaiden is “soft” so to speak (which means if he thinks he has done something wrong – which includes disappointing you he “shuts down”… he goes very very slow!).
So the day before – we were trialing and lost two runs (not qualifying) because he did not hit the yellow down contact on the A-Frame. He knows he is to come all the way down… and didn’t. On the way home – I was very overbearing… very loud (in both words and tone). Little Kaiden just sat in his crate and listened. Quite frankly – he may or may not have known why I was upset; on why I had him in the crate (where normally he rides with me).
It took me about 20 miles before I started to reflect and feel badly over my behaviors. He’s my little boy… the one who has stayed with me through thick and thin… the one who comes and cuddles when I am sad… the one who sings back when I sing to him. He’s my little boy… I spoke to him softly and petted him gently. I apologized.
They say dogs know when you apologize to them… when you are sorry for something. I believe they do as he responded with soft talking to me.
So we got home… went to the field and played ball. He looked for deer and enjoyed his life as a dog. I brought out the little A-frame and we practiced some five or six times… celebrating big time each time (because of course he hit the contact each time!). Two hours later – we did the same – out to the field for some play and then to the A-frame for four or five times. Finally an hour and a half later – we did it again. Each time… he did it right. Each time I was thinking – why did I act the way I did when all I needed to do was to come home and just show him what I needed him to do with the ultimate comment in my head, “For God’s sake – it’s JUST a Q!”
Kaiden’s errors were really on me though… Kaiden’s actions are the result of training. Kaiden’s actions are a result of what I have allowed.
You know… I know that he doesn’t really know or care if he qualifies or not. He just wants to run with me. He wants to be on the course… jumping and weaving! He wants to see me excited at the end of the run so he can celebrate our teamwork. Honestly though… he has “saved” me on the course more times than I can remember… late calls, late crosses, no commands at all. He corrects me with barking (on or off the course) for 2 seconds and then moves on. When finished – he looks at me with love.
Well – I thought I had made repairs to our relationship by the end of the night. I found though that what I did ultimately was to damage his confidence. I made him worry about what he was doing. The first run of the day, it became clear what I had done. It made me so very very sad and reminded me of the power of words and tone.
Kaiden LOVES his weaves… I mean just loves them!! He’s very good at them too! The run below shows what I had done to his confidence. I was able to do a lead out followed by a backside to the weaves. He entered the weaves very well and very quickly. I knew he had them and looked down stream at the next two obstacles I was concerned about… never making eye contact with him or talking to him in the weaves (“Come on weaver – weave!!”) after he entered. He looks at me at pole six as if to say – “Am I doing this right?” I didn’t see it as I wasn’t paying attention to the next two obstacles (until after I saw the video) and he slowed way down and eventually came out at pole 11. We regrouped and did spectacularly on the rest of the course.
We ended up q-ing only once that day. I didn’t care though as I was running with my little buddy. I am sorry little Kaiden. I love you so and will try never to do that again to you. I MUST keep the proper perspective. I MUST remember all the things WE do right and write down the things we need to work on – the things WE need to improve on. You are my partner… my team mate. You are my heart… you are my soul. I love you so Courageous Kaiden! Please forgive me!
The Journey
Things come to you at the most appropriate times! The video “The Journey” by Susan Garrett came to my attention again – and it is so appropriate. I want to share it with you…
“Someone once suggested to me that the life we share with a dog is not about dogs or dog sports at all. That the interactions between us is simply a vessel to teach us the lessons we are intended to learn as we travel through life. The lessons are always there, but not always noticed. We may be so wrapped up in “training” the dog that we fail to grasp what the dog is trying to share with us. However, if we don’t take the time to see the lesson, you can be certain it will come around to us again.
This got me thinking about the dogs that are sent to join each of us as we travel along our individual journeys… and why we get the dog that we do at the specific points in our lives.
Our lessons will include those of friendship, love and loyalty. There are those of gratitude, as we learn to look for the bright side in any situation. And just as failure will not define our future, neither will we rely on successes to create our sense of self worth.
Some dogs will join our journey and completely change its directions. There may be one dog that joins us to teach a multitude of lessons… while another has only a brief stay, sharing lessons that include those of profound loss and recovery. Our lessons may be about people: those passing through quickly, focused on their own journey… as well as others who are meant to stay and share their lessons with us. A dog may be leading you to one particular person… someone who is meant to continue on the journey with you.
We learn that the lessons of experience are often hidden… and that the limits of our own perception do not define life’s infinite possibilities. There will be lessons that teach us how to recover from unforeseen struggles… and how faith and an wavering belief can overcome every obstacle.
We will learn to become more accepting and less reactive. And to not allow disappointment to negatively impact our outlook. Some dogs are sent to teach us lessons that we are meant to share with others. We are learning to be less judgemental of those that cross our paths each day and also how to make the best of any situation in which we may find ourselves. And for many of us, the lessons may also include discovering the endless source of joy that exists within us should we dare to strip away the inhibitions that keep this joy hidden inside.
For no start line is broken and no bar is dropped without a lesson for us… be it in patience, in humility, in acceptance, or even in the realization of the need for more knowledge. For in the end when our dogs come to the last day of their journey with us, we won’t look back and wish we had won more red ribbons but we may regret that we didn’t learn our lessons earlier so that we might have enjoyed our journey together more fully.
However, don’t judge your path, for all of these lessons are intended for you and for you to pass along. So as you lead out for your last few runs at your competition, smile at the realization of how many lessons have brought you to this moment and find peace in knowing that the outcome of the run is part of your journey because it is not about dog agility… it is about the lessons of the journey. And this is by no means the end of the journey…”
The Road Traveled with my Companions 
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